Juanjuan has been travelling for a week. Her best friend, Ming, adopted two years ago, and Ming's family invited Juan to go on a road trip with them from S. CA to San Francisco, sightseeing along the way.
Juan calls almost every night to tell me "good night." This is actually a mutually Mom-arranged ritual so that I will know she's OK and still alive. I think it's important to allow her the sense that she really is out from under my thumb on this trip, but I still have that Mommy need to know that all is well.
Reflection 1. I am not worrying as much about her as I would be if she were one of my bio kids. Not that I don't care about her as much, but I know that she is very street savvy and careful, and managed to survive 11 years pretty much on her own in a huge city without my help or superivision. I also know that, due to the language issue, she's not likely to strike up a conversation with unsavory charactors. And that the family she's with is very careful and kid-oriented. And I know that she is really having a lot of fun. This will be the highlight of her summer.
Reflection 2. It is very quiet around here. As we fell back into the pre-Juan routines of summertime...essentially everyone doing what they want and taking responsibility for their own fun...I realized that Juan has brought quite a bit more intensity into our lives. She is not one to sit around and relax. She has to be doing something, and prefers to have that something involve other people. We are pretty boring for her. We read. We draw. We go for walks. We think. Pretty low key.
Reflection 3. Kirsten, who has had the hardest kid adjustment to sharing her life with a new sister is the one who misses the new sister the most. She misses the Juan energy.
Reflection 4. I haven't worried about food at all...didn't realize how really big food has been for the last 12 months. Juan likes Chinese food and about three American dishes and that's all. It has been hard, because nobody else wants to eat Chinese food every day. So we compromise. Sort of. But I also realize that I really am not a cooking person. I like to make a salad, sandwhiches, and maybe fresh fruit and call that dinner. I have enjoyed the vacation from complicated dinners.
Reflection 5. I am looking forward to having Juan back again. I look forward to see the changes I know will have happened in her in just ONE week's time, and I anticipate the fun of continuing to get to know her, and learning to be a good mom for her.
